The Non-Immigrant Student
The Non-Immigrant Student podcast is an audio journal of my grad-school (and now corporate) journey in the United States of America.
It is an inspirational podcast that seeks to encourage and provide guidance to other non-immigrant students across the globe on how to live their best lives while fulfilling their Study/Work Abroad dreams or living far away home!
My stories reveal all the lessons I'm learning on this journey, and I honestly believe that ''If I can do it, you can do it too!''
So excited to have you with me on this journey, Welcome!
The Non-Immigrant Student
S4 E2 - Friendship in Your Late 20’s: The Good, the Bad & the Ugly ft. Oluwabusayo Omoleye
Hi guys!!!
How are you doing? How have you been? I hope you're thriving & in good health!
I'm back with yet another new episode and this time, I came back with a three-time guest; one of my best girls, Busayo!
In this episode, we dive into the details of our first big fight and how it almost cost us our 11-year long friendship! It all started with a Galentine brunch, a shopping spree and a night over that went south very quickly! We reflected on how we handled the conflict and why we chose to repair our friendship before it was too late.
I'm reminded that friendships are like gardens, requiring patient tending, honest conversations, and the willingness to grow together. As always, we hope you enjoy listening as much as we enjoyed recording!
With love from NY/NJ,
Toolz x Bussy B
Please rate the podcast and leave a review wherever you listen; it helps me reach other people like you. Also, follow here for more :) Thank you!
Hi guys, welcome back to the Non-Irigan Student Podcast.
Speaker 1:Welcome back to season 4. This is episode 2 of season 4. I hope you have checked out season 1, where I just talk about how my year has started out so far. In today's episode we have a return guest. I'm sure you can already guess who she'll be introducing herself very shortly, but today the title of this episode is Friendship in your late 20s the good, the bad and the ugly. So definitely there's a lot we're going to be catching up. So please tune in and enjoy.
Speaker 1:Ask about me on the streets of Ithaca. They will tell you. I'm popular everywhere. I mean, I'm that new Nenira girl who just came here and has friends in all sects and factions of this university MBA, graduate students, undergraduate students, phd students. Like girl, I'm popular. But yeah, welcome to the Non-Irigan Student Podcast. This is podcast where, if I can do it, you can do it too. Hi guys, we're back, welcome back.
Speaker 1:So, vuxi, do you want to introduce yourself? Hey guys, it's Vuxi B here. Tell us your favorite bestie yeah, she has like 10. And your favorite guest? Yes, he has to give you some gist. Yes, girl, yeah, yeah. So you guys, this is Vuxi's third time. Abbie, first time was in. You came in season two, season three and you're here in season four. Thank you for always doing this with me and guys, that's why I had to bribe her with a Non-Irigan t-shirt. If this was a video podcast, maybe it would have dressed up so you can see. Oh yeah, someday I would wear it when I get it. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. Thank you and thank you. Shout out to everyone who supports me, all my friends who bought t-shirts I think I shared this in the last episode last year that I sold about seven t-shirts and most of them were to my friends. So shout out to all of you guys. Okay, today we are back.
Speaker 1:I was telling Vuxi that I'm very nervous about editing, about recording this episode, because of the title. You guys, before we jump into it, vuxi, how have you been? I've been good. I've been busy doing personal stuff, just trying to balance my work, fitness, my spiritual life, the emotional part and just everything. Yeah, but it's been a lot, I know. I know I can imagine it's a very productive season anyway. Yes, and you know, that's what motivated me to record this episode, because I feel like you've been very productive, very lit. I'm good and even though I want to be inspired, it's not really working. We should have been inspired one day. So, guys, by the way, we're currently live from New Jersey, so look, vsitter and me From New Jersey. Finally, that's also part of what inspired this episode. So, thank you, guys.
Speaker 1:Today I've been wanting to write about friendship in late 20s. I don't even think I told you this, but I wanted to tap into my writer era. So I saw this advert in Brooklyn. They were doing some writing slam poetry, slam something and I wanted to sign up for it. It was about friendships and I just wanted to talk about how I think the friendships I had in my life have evolved over the years, but I couldn't bring myself to actually write something about it. So now I'm doing an episode about it and I thought to invite you. So we almost, guys for back Before we dive deep.
Speaker 1:For background, we almost lost our friendship about a month ago. No, no, we have to have this hard discussion with Busey. I'm sorry and I don't really give Busey the full gist of what we're going to talk about today. Also, she will not overthink our answers. But, guys, we almost I won't say I almost destroyed our 10-year friendship. But I want to also hear you take blame for some parts of it, even though I knew it was most of my faults. But I apologize. But let me tell you, guys, I have something to say.
Speaker 1:Busey changed my name from Sexy T, my bestie, Sexy T, my bestie, to Tolu. She's not even giving me the honor of adding my surname. You didn't even add my last name, tolu. Look at me. Yes, your name is Busey of Malaya. I like my first name. I feel like my last name is Tofu. She's like why? Because I don't like to forget. I get what you mean. I'm not close to you enough to just put Busey on. Remember me, that's all. This is the Busey that I love so much. Why are you putting my surname? Actually, I should have saved your name by Busey B, but even my sister's name, even Timmy's name after she got married.
Speaker 1:I'm trying to remember when I saw Busey on. I think it was Busey's new number. I think you remember what his last name was. What is Busey's new number or Busey's new name? Busey is my special daughter, but that's besides the point. The point is that I have saved my number from Busey's from before.
Speaker 1:I was sexy to lose something, my bestie Sexy to my bestie. Today I was dropping some pictures and I saw that she said my name was Tofu. I said, busey, I thought I apologized, I forgot to go back. No, I already changed it before. It's okay, don't have feelings. No, actually don't change it. It's okay, let it be our period of money. You've put me back. I know you've put it. I know you've put people back. I know this is my probation period. I accept it. But anyway, guys, before we go into it, I also wanted to ask Busey some things about finances, dating, and to actually talk about it.
Speaker 1:We've gotten to that age now. Your mom got married at 27. And you're turning 27 this year, in about two months. My mom got married at 27 in June. She turned 28 later that year, in November, and I'm turning 28 this year. So when you think about that, what do you think?
Speaker 1:I feel pressured. I feel like, especially for the Marital Settlements, I feel like, why do you call me by my name? I feel like Lord, when is this going to happen? And I was telling someone, a guy that's been talking to me my mom got married and many years ago I thought 27 was an old age to get married. So I'm like Mom, you got married late and I was just saying now I'm turning 27. And I'm no boyfriend, nothing, no crush, nothing, nothing.
Speaker 1:And they were like, ah, we can marry that If you want to meet that girl. I'm like I'm back. You see that, your man, best of all. Okay, sorry, we can't see names. I'm not calling names. That's hilarious, but you need to give me who is okay. Sorry, busey, why don't you want him to change? I sent you this meme on Instagram. I want my ex cracked. I want my name dropped. Nothing but soup. I want my last name dropped. I'm not gonna marry you because I'm trying to get to it and to meet up with a deadline or timeline. I didn't have a timeline, so now this is the role of the modern day high-finity pen and black woman.
Speaker 1:True, that's what people have been saying, true, okay, so, as you were saying, so you're worried. So, because of work, you don't want to give that guy time, or because you don't like him. Oh, I don't like him. I mean, I was going to consider him. I didn't think I liked him enough, but it's something like it's someone I could consider being with. But my thing is I mean, I'll be 27 in how many months? Why are you looking at your watch? I'll be 27 in two months. Do I want to get married next month? Or just because I want to meet that I'm like no, I just we just laughed it off anyway, but I mean he had like he was a bit serious about it. Maybe not this time, maybe end of the year.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think for me to I don't think like I am pale shout out to you for a discussion. She was like she only has one boyfriend left in her and I think I have two boyfriends left in me only because I've dated once and I don't mind like experimenting for going to my age, I think I have just won a meal, but honestly there's also no time, because two boyfriends mean two talking stages 2 Because even before you date one, you would have spoken to maybe three or four people. And then that's what I was saying, even for the guys. You guys I don't know if I've mentioned this in the last episode, but like I have a testimony we give glory to God, we give glory to the Lord man. I've been up in my DMs. I like that. I should say before that nobody is my DM who would know it's to believe me.
Speaker 1:But this year, and to the consent from me, I'm like but who is fine? Like what is the problem? I don't know. It's the cause of the problem. They think they look at me as a sister or a mom and they're like yeah, exactly, I need them to see me as a babe, as a girlfriend first, not a wife. My younger sisters, if you're listening, don't let anyone look at you as a sister in the Lord, exactly. And then, okay, I know I have to give context to explain it to you, but I was telling some friends my cousin and her friend who are like they're 18 or 19, like when guys come to my house and eat the can and you serve them food and you're like oh, don't worry, wash your plates, they just all they see.
Speaker 1:Now, oh, my god, it's the wife-ness. They don't even ask you what do you do? What are your ambitions, what are your goals? You just see a wife in me. You don't see a girlfriend first, and that was a big problem for me. So that's why now, if you come to my house, it's a disposable place, but do you not need to waste time? I'm not your girlfriend. That's just enough to whine, even now, if you come, if you don't fit in my house, we find other food from Uber Eats Like, don't see me as a wife anymore, so you're not cooking for no one?
Speaker 1:No, I'm not, unfortunately. If we go out and I'm like, oh, let me just pay, you know, as per you two you've been nice to me, they would not call me sugar mom. That thing triggers me so much. I don't know why it gets me so pissed, because it's just like you can't see me as someone you can take care of. You see it as me taking care of you, and that's a problem. But I mean, you guys might probably have more context to understand these buts. But yeah, I know what I'm saying, shia, but it's okay.
Speaker 1:But the point is that people are now in my DMs. So I am my sister, who is my wife we've been talking about, although she's always angry when I have an excuse for somebody that I don't like, and you always have an excuse to alone. Yeah, but see, I believe in being picky, even these days. Even my father was like don't be choosy. I said don't be choosy, no, no, don't be choosy. When the excuses are just becoming very flimsy, then how is it flimsy? You know how we tell you that I need a Jesus boy. I'm not saying for this person, I'm just saying generally, like it's okay to have it. But maybe the last 10 people that have spoken to me have always given one reason or the other.
Speaker 1:And my roommate said besides all the men you've been talking to, I would think by now you should be married. I'm like Tom, we're still waiting for the one that would be the husband. I know what you mean. Anyway, I'm here to see you go on dates. We have not gotten to dates here too, and you know me, I want to be more of a color and I've tried even to see when they are like, can we color with them? I'm not sure about that, but once I've picked up their call and we spoke, even though it's not happened twice, but sometimes I feel like from one call I have all I need to know. Sure, for me. That's how I feel.
Speaker 1:If I actually have the basic questions already and I even see that sometimes you're not. But do you make it seem like an interview? But then I interview you and they ask me questions People that will be asking me the most. I want to really say my chest. I don't have any movement before we hear this podcast, they'll be asking me what do I like to cook? That was my best food, is that not already? Ex and ex. What else do I need to know about? There's nothing else I need to know about you. I'm not a holy holy, but I'm trying.
Speaker 1:And I listen to Fembe Lazarus. What's that? One, don't fuck with me, she's okay. No, no, that one is a red flag. Forgive me. Forgive me, that is a red flag. I put amazing that one to do. I beg, but anyway.
Speaker 1:But the point is that I'm not very happy that these days people are like Trying to talk to me. So he's giving me God in the neighborhood and I'm excited about that. But I think what's your biggest worry About? Not getting married? Obviously, okay, perfect, I don't think it will take so long. I'm hoping that in the next one or two years I'll get married Before that, you know God, I beg you. I'm so much more confident. One question that you think is depressing. You watched earlier, but he was saying that he won't ask us to pray about our faith and our Disney. When I found Hilaryus, do you listen to what I said when FK said that her mother should tune in to her To see that she was so hilarious Because that's something that mother can definitely do On the night of marriage that he was releasing blessings. I also tuned in.
Speaker 1:You want a birthday Abbey. I don't remember. Amen, lord, my own faith is not that strong. I wanted to add it as part of my birthday. You know how people say God's God for something from bed. Before my 28th birthday I would like to meet someone, but God's 4 months is too soon. I don't want to put pressure on him. Imagine, imagine I put pressure on God. It is not too soon. That's what I did last year On my 26th birthday. When I was at home. I had my 26th birthday and I felt that it was because I demanded it. Instead, it came. It came in May by the time. I offered my birthday for a month and God just taught me I can't put conditions on when he does things. Honestly, I just pray that God's will should be done, because that is the most important thing. I agree. I think my biggest fear, even when I think about it. God has called me to ministry.
Speaker 1:I say Marry, do you know your time? How long am I willing to wait? That's what I say to my mom today If it's by 36. I know some good women that have married late in their 30s. I say God, just keep me. I like how you don't put pressure on yourself I'm trying not to. You are not seem pressured Because it's really what God wants. You don't want to marry when God is not in it or he's not saying this is the time, and then you just cry I mean, well, it could be that time or that energy to do more productive things or to do what he wants you to do. I agree, good thing. I mean I'm happy that you're not Counting down or like I mean I'm beginning to calm down now. I don't think I've told you about studying Some, worrying them and faith and faith. I'm not studying them.
Speaker 1:About egg freezing I spoke to someone who throws her eggs and how you take injection and I was really considering it Just in case, because she was like your eggs are not good at this age Compared to when she did hers in the late 30s. And I just have to keep it in New York If my husband need to move, like you can't move the eggs, so that's the bad thing. So I think she did hers on the West Coast and obviously, if she was ready to do. If she couldn't give by, naturally she would have to come back. She would have to go back to where she did it and she could go and get it done and then they do a surgery on the last day to bring.
Speaker 1:By the time she told me the process, I was just like God, if it's not you that does it, I don't know how, because I don't know where I will put myself through. And apparently when you're doing the IVF, it's like you're trying to get pregnant. Basically, that is a lot. I'm like I don't think I'll have enough incentive To put to allow myself to go through that process For 40 days, just because I'm not sure if I'll get mine. So you know, I was just like I think I'm not. She was like no, you should do it now. You have the insurance at Google. You don't know if you get laid off that it costs about $20,000 to $40,000, like if you have the insurance that she did it, the whole process, you know, 40 days of injections.
Speaker 1:But I said God man plans, god disposes, god. If you will not do it, then nobody can do it. I don't know that. I have a few of commitments, like immediately. Now all these guys start talking and they start asking for calling and talking. I don't like talking that much when it comes to getting. Maybe that's why you might just be excited when you see other people Like you're thinking I don't think You're really interested in the process, I don't know. Yes, like, why can't God just say this is the one, and then I work with that.
Speaker 1:I find myself comparing them to the last person I did that to Says like you guys don't meet up. Is that Ohio? So if you guys can't meet, you can't go for less. You can't set too. It could be high standard. Don't worry, your man is coming. Yours too, sis, yours, I can't wait to be your chief price mate. Shout out to you precious, we are fighting for Precious. Don't worry, you are my best Chief price mate and you have to. You have to Because I saw that he saw a lot of his husband. He had two groomsmen Like Moses Bissons and Victor Thompson. Two of them were in his groomsmen. They are the best men. He had two best men.
Speaker 1:What's your love language? Quality time, quality time. What's my, what's mine? Act of service it is. Why do you get that one? Because I am thinking that's the closest thing I could. Act of service. What's of affirmation? What is this? If you write me anything, I will frame it, but now I am getting cheap. I am very act of service. What's of affirmation? Now? Really, I feel like I am not passing to the right person. I am like, okay, this person seems genuine too. I believe in using your gifts. If that person cannot, I am giving too much context. I used to believe, I used to trust before, but now, god help me. Anyway, mine is definitely Okay.
Speaker 1:So now this is a good segue Into today's topic Friendship in our late 20s. Bam, bam, bam. How would you say? How would you say? How should we go back to what happened? Let's give it a recap. I said at the beginning that I almost ruined our 10 year friendship. I am so sad. I have been friends for 10, over 10 years, 20 years. We didn't see how we met again. I feel like I said this many times, but just in case, this is the new list I promise not to share the laptop story.
Speaker 1:So what happens? Feel free to share. I am tired. Please share it. We were roommates In our first semester during our undergrad days and we also cost me, so we studied chemical engineering at Covenant University. We were bunkmates also, yeah, and many people thought we looked alike. So sometimes they called me to Lu and they called I don't think they were called the Boussail, maybe not, but they called me to Lu, but they also is confused with Bolu too. Yeah, I mean, yeah, just the people, that's no, but you two and okay, and so, yeah, that's that's all I was saying, yes. And then, on a faithful day, I put my laptop on the bunk bed. Okay, I said I wish I had bought you guys. If you want the laptop, just please go back to season three, episode 13. I think we talked about her experience going back to that. So that's not that story in every episode. Check any episode. That story is there. Calm down, okay, I'll see that part. But yeah, so every friend is for 10 years, I think, on and off.
Speaker 1:And I also realized that even when Legos, we actually never went to visit each other. Yeah, because I lived on the mainland, I lived on the island. Oh, but I came. I mean, I was there for your birthday party. My twin sisters made it. Every night I was there. I saw that picture. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah and no, but if it came. That's valid. That was 2021, and I know we started talking again not 2021. No, that was that day. Sorry, that was how it came to us. Oh my god, that was 2018 or 2019, also I think 2017, during IT. Okay, that should be our six more internship anyway. So that's how we met.
Speaker 1:And then, two weeks ago, or during Valentine's weekend, we decided to do week before Valentine's. We wanted to do something for Valentine's Day together, and so I was like okay, let's have lunch brunch on the Sunday before, right? And so we went out. We went to church let me say that in December or whenever, told me same pussy, we've not hung out in a while, I've not seen you, blah, blah, blah, no longer care about me. But you know, and you guys and I always text bullsire randomly, head thought of you, just want to say hi, how many times do you want me, even if he's right, but at least I see thought of you, did you think of me? I just about in my heart and I prayed for you. Girl, please, I hate to be said, I prayed for you. Don't, don't freaking. Tell me that, because I, I don't know. What I hate to say is the key. I'm like Lord, protect Tolina going out. Actually I'm very, but he's just. But, thank you.
Speaker 1:Honestly, I feel like your life is so occupied. You're doing so many things. I mean it's not a good, it's probably not an excuse, but in my head I'm just like to lose, because I don't know when to call or when she's doing something, and I know what's. One day I mentioned and he said no, just call me, that if I'm not free, I won't pick up and I'll tell you and I'll text you. Now I will respond, I will text and be like okay, so anyway.
Speaker 1:So like, oh, we should see you. And I'm like oh, I mean, you had told us to visit last year and she did not come. And I mean New Jersey, yes, remember you had to come in November. Then one way, one way said oh, pearl is coming, for Pearl is coming, let's have brunch in here. I'm like this is how you dodged coming again. And I mean yeah, but you don't tell me, okay, I miss out, my room forgot. But no, let's continue, continue. So I'm like okay, I'll come and visit you. And I don't know how. I mean well, she claims she did not come to sleep over. Maybe I'm gonna invite myself to your house, I'm gonna invite myself, continue. I did not invite you to my house so I said, no, emotions were high, calm down. Okay, that's, and that's free story.
Speaker 1:So but yeah, I thought, yes, I came here February, I went to, we went to, you've came to my choice. I work in New York. I thought I would stay over at a place. I wanted to spend more time with that, because for me I'm like, why would I come for one day? And that's what you always do when you come, you sleep over. I mean, you go to work from my house. So I just, yeah. So I said, okay, I'll stay at your place for like two nights and go to work on Tuesday from there. I'll come back to New Jersey because I don't like being on the road too much.
Speaker 1:When I started working, I used to have a headache each time I went to work, I don't know anyway. Uh, so that happened and I went to Toulouse Place and then I was at Toulouse Place on Sunday morning. No, you got there. Yeah, I got your. Yeah, I got your house Sunday morning. So we went out for went to church first.
Speaker 1:Let's, let us start with her. Toulouse means she was going to church. At 9 30. I left my house by 7 o'clock so that I'll get your place by 8 30, but you're doing, I don't keep to time like you. You were like I'm 7 in church and you know, but I was no, but I, we still went before. I mean I have to be charged by 10 or 9, 30, 9, 30 and what's the few minutes left. So we got to your past 11, past 11. I'm catching my mind. I'm not sure you're going to be there at or like you plan to live on this and because I don't want to wake up so early if I don't have to. And then she's like, oh yeah, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 1:So I got her place and Toulouse, still washing plates. I said no, too early to get upset, I don't wash plates in the evening, too early to get upset. I come down. I said I'm looking pretty today, no bad energy here, and I mean I had my service to join online, so it was not even a problem. I just joined my service online and I was waiting for Toulouse and we went for service together. We went for brunch together. Things are still good at that point.
Speaker 1:So, and I mean in between, somewhere in between, we had mentioned going to check sneakers and getting some makeup stuff at Sephora. So that was the plan. There was no plan of we will stop at K-Channel to be looking for food, sorry, sorry, and continue. I left, like Toulouse wisdom, from Sephora I don't want to check quotes in. No, you wanted to look for quotes. I'm not saying, do you want to enter? And I don't know. And then I see nice things.
Speaker 1:I said I wanted to try my hitch and nem top. You guys, it's funny because now that you said this, I'm remembering I even did youtube shots while we were fighting. Sorry, sorry if I screamed in your ear. Guys, we are going to continue, so funny. So I mean.
Speaker 1:So I, well, when we were at Adidas, I was ready, yes, we went, and I was actually begging, I was apologizing and I said I'm like, okay, well, it's still the first. Hopefully it won't take so long. So I'm like I didn't have a problem then, but I needed to use the restroom. So I mentioned it once at Adidas. Then I wanted to use the restroom and then we moved to Sephora. It was me that wanted to buy makeup stuff, yes or no? Yes, it was you. And I said to Adidas this is too full and I don't have my list of things to buy Toulouse. Okay, let's just check. Toulouse checked on from one minute like almost one hour there. Toulouse spent a long. I wish I had maybe like 45 minutes and we have had. Continue.
Speaker 1:So I'm like at this point I just wanted to go. I'll take over the story from hitch and nem continue. At this point I just wanted to go home. So we we left Sephora. I would just have asked him and I'm giving you the key at that point I didn't want to. I was too excited, but I thought, did I think you'll be going to each and the next? Oh yeah, we went to each and the next time. So at that point we're meant to be going home and then I think we're just going to get to train station. And so we saw each and the.
Speaker 1:I said, boussi, do you want to check for your jacket in this store? And I was. I was genuinely asking and I'm the entire. Then I saw that no jacket inside. I said no, they don't sell jackets here. Then I'm not so fine blue top and no, you saw necklace or earrings. You saw earrings. So I said, boussi, do you like this earrings? That's true, that's why I'm standing.
Speaker 1:I remember that jewelry one of them, I think it's on necklace. First, I love my hitch and then jewelry. Yes, what is on that necklace? I said I don't want. Like I only came for jackets and there's no jackets, I'm good. I don't believe in um impulse buying so much. Yeah, impulse buying is the word, right is the word and drag me on these streets. So I wasn't sure and I'm not so big on jewelry, so I don't want earrings. I gave her okay, you have a second one, I have a second, but that the only one, because I could not find one you gave me, I don't know, I dropped it. So I'm not so big, I don't wear necklaces and all and uh.
Speaker 1:When she wanted to pick the first and I was still okay with that, and then she moved to the earrings, she like Boussi, what do you think of these earrings? I said they are big and you already have so many earrings. You have like hundreds. Okay, let me 50 or 75. So I said why do you want to buy earrings? Again? I said no.
Speaker 1:Next thing to look moved one shirt. She said Boussi, what do you think of this shirt? I said this shirt is basic, like what is in what? What is what I said. Yeah, I was wrong. What was wrong with you? I said it's the vibe. No, no, that's what I'm always saying. No, no, no, that was wrong. What was wrong? What was wrong? What was I trying to say? That it's fine, yeah, even there's not fine, but there's something ugly, fine, I was saying that, something ugly fine. What I wish I could remember that I was giving, no, not giving. It's not giving, it's not giving. Oh, yeah, I told him to move to the next shirt and I'm like, okay, this girl just takes me for a joke.
Speaker 1:At that point I was like, yeah, and before you know it, can you just move to the next? I like it. Look at another cardigan or something. Yes, I know, in my mind I thought I was rushing, no, so she moved forward. I thought she was going to. I was jokingly still saying tolu, please go and pay, let's be going home, let's be going home. So I thought she was going to pay, only for tolu to move and still cannot shoot. I just lost it. At that point I'm like, okay, this girl does not even regard me in any manner. Like, just go and make payments, tolu.
Speaker 1:So at that point I just thought she was going to move around on this store and just be looking. She was not even ready. I knew she was not going to spend most of this thing. So I'm like what are you looking at? What do you remember? I'm not with them. Where are you going to buy this shoe? Did you buy the shoe that you're looking at that day? But is that not the leather shirt I was showing you that you said you like the pointed one. That's the shirt. That's not the shirt I saw you looking at that day, because that's anyway can't take over from here. So before you know it, guys, sorry, it's not funny, it's actually not funny now that you told me about it. So after, before you know it, I know it's torn back. So that's why I was not there again.
Speaker 1:I called you that way. I saw when I watched us going to the store I said tolu, I'm leaving. Maybe you didn't hear me because I was far away from bramble. I don't know, I won't talk. Maybe actually I think I heard you, but I just assumed you were going to look for a bathroom because in my mind, remember, I told you that you want to use the bathroom and you said, no, you want to use the bathroom at home.
Speaker 1:So my mind I was like, okay, she really wanted to use the bathroom at home. She will ask me for the house key. Only for me to now I don't know, I don't see you. So I called you. That's how far I am after like 20 minutes. You have to know that I'm walking to the train and you know, when you give me your stupid straight face and straight voice, you know I won't tell me. You just said I'm at the train station and I could actually get the train. I think actually my phone was on 1%, that's what I was saying that how can anger allow you go out with one percent train? You didn't ask me for house key. Okay, I didn't remember house.
Speaker 1:So my mama, she said house, she's, she's in the train sometimes to let me tell you guys, sometimes busi says things. I see she's threatening you. I see, flag, I'm not really going to do it, but I'm at the train if you like. So my mind I was even thinking maybe she's actually going to come back, because how will she get to the house? I mean, to my mind I'm like she's old enough to know that she needs the key. So if she's not asking me for the key. She will come back and get the key when she's ready. Because my mind is like how can someone who says she wants to go home to use the bathroom not collect the key from me? That's what I was thinking. So my mind I'm like I'm not going to talk and you already know what you're supposed to do. But that's how my guide actually was on her way home in that train station.
Speaker 1:So I stayed there, I took my time, I tried on the clothes. And now, which other store? I'll say that it's a big one bag. That was my h&m bag, because I I said, okay, since you're left to me, I went back. I went back inside this shop. I went to go and look for more tops. Wait, a friend was to visit. That friend did not come.
Speaker 1:Oh that, I got on by 6 30 told you got home by past eight. I go home by past eight. Yes, okay, so that's one. I hope so. Now you think that a remorseful person will get up by like seven. That's okay. That's why I already left you. I kept my. I kept my friend waiting where to watch a movie that day, where night. Yes, no, okay, let's go to the cinema. And then you said no, okay, that's true, wanted to go to see me anyway, fast forward, she now came home. So of course I was already caring face for each other.
Speaker 1:You now went to the gym when I got home or something, because you had the fall baby. So you went to the gym and then they want the fob. No, I was out. So why did you wait for me to come back to go to gym? And I couldn't get into your fat man, but I could use the restroom my point is the restaurant and tried my phone. Okay, okay, okay. Then you now stayed outside your apartment. Where did you stay while you were waiting for me? The office, the lounge area, the lounge area. Okay, noted.
Speaker 1:So I now go back home and not take. So that I've got him home, let me tell you, we're saying I was not remote, for I took an Uber home. I didn't take a train home because it was going to be shorter. You don't know if that's enough remorse for you, but anyway, I'm eyeing you, just so you know if you cannot see I'm ready. But anyway, so I shall go home, sharp, sharp and I'll take, said the other friend that I'm now home. That person too, by that time, of course, was too late, shall fast forward to 12 midnight me, you guys, okay. What else again do you want to talk about? So when my cousin, you spoke to her and if I'm at that point that you spoke on the phone, yeah, you, okay. By the way, busan sleeps early. I know that you don't like coming to us because I play music too loud and all that, so I was ready even, yeah, but I told you that we're going now. We're settling marriage fights. Shall, let's go fast forward.
Speaker 1:The point is that I start watching tv. I watch tv to sleep up, and you know this. You already know that I watch tv not to sleep off. I don't know about you, okay, but you don't like to watch it at night. Exactly, and when my former house, there was a palo and you remember now when he stood you, so everything is together. So of course, I could not be in Palo Alto while you in the room sleeping and the lights were still on. I know you can now sleep. It's light on, I don't mind, but I didn't mind too, but I know you were backing shut. The whole point is that the tv became loud and I reduced it by print. It was not enough for her. And then I was on the phone with her cousin who, like his friends, get my other way. I was just exchanging like conga to literally, and but you guys, me and Boussaila, we're already choosing what I will be, because me I'm showing up as friend of the sister of the group and then so, anyway, fast forward to midnight.
Speaker 1:Then Boussaila, now put on sleep sound. I use that to sleep, to sleep. Remember, I was like, why did you put it in your earpods if you wanted to sleep? You know, it's amazing why we have to be human. Because my earpods died later on. Sure, I was not. I was not like, wait, why is this thing? The after a while I don't know if your earpods died the sleep sounds were now on speaker. So my mind and I told you what that I now said, boussaila, if you really want to sleep, why is your listening on speaker what I tell you? No, you first said are you planning to how long I plan to play that fan? I said as long as, as, as long as you're watching your movie, because I mean, let me be using it I.
Speaker 1:I don't know, there's something about sleep sound which I can't really explain, but there's someone that introduced me to it and has been helping me to sleep. Yes, I know my life, I cannot sleep. It's on, that is snoring and all of those things. So it's all the way. My cousin came and started using the sleep sounds, and even on the train, while people are making noise, I use it to sleep and I like I sleep off. So I just played it.
Speaker 1:I put it on speaker and I honestly do not know it was disturbing you. So I was watching TV. So of course, it was disturbing me, although I thought I could have done differently than I said that I could have turned on the TV and watched the Netflix on my phone or my laptop. Of course you could have you to. You could not charge your earpods so that you can use it. If I tried this one, would I now be able to use it?
Speaker 1:What now happened after that? Anyway, so told, now said um, if you want to sleep, well, if I'm disturbing, just let me know, instead of pretending to be sleeping. And that got me upset. I'm like what do you mean? I know how to lose that. Sometimes she can. She can choose to be nasty. Nasty is not the right word to use here, pardon my English. Yes, annoying, and I'm like you want to prove that you, you can be stubborn or whatever it is. And I said no, I wouldn't entertain you tonight. And I said I don't think. I don't think. I responded to her. Yes, at that point I just said you know what? I'm going to carry my up and be going because I have my room. Jj, nobody chased me out of my house. I'm not homeless, nothing happened.
Speaker 1:And this was about. This was around 11am. I'm supposed to be expensive to come. Yeah, because I have to go home, rather to return home. Do you know? At first, I tell you we're joking and that's why you stood up.
Speaker 1:When you told me I'm going home, you said you got ignored me. Oh where, I'm not. Okay, you know. Ask me. You know, ask me. Did you hear me? I say yes, I was never going to answer. I say yes, I heard me. Because what am I supposed to do? If you want to go home? We are be going. Because what do you mean by you're going home at midnight? Why can't you just tell me I should turn off the TV? Because I would say tell you again, I'm in your house. I can't tell you what to do. I don't want to be seen like. You already know this thing. So if I have to keep telling you, telling you, then I don't know. It doesn't make much sense to me.
Speaker 1:Okay, then first forward, then after this and now when I still let me up on packages, so I went to the fridge. Today I'm going to bring out my you can be very rude, you can be very rude my teeth. That's why I don't want nonsense. Jollofrize. You're nice to be for calling my Jollofrize nonsense. Everybody that knows me knows that I cook food and I give people out of love. You know I was going to eat that Jollofrize. I didn't want to eat too much and I packed. I don't care, but I packed it because I didn't even come to my house and you would need food to go for lunch in the office. I'll be nice and I don't need food again. Do you see what you see? Can you guys hear it? Can you hear that nonsense from your mouth? Of course I don't need my food again and that's what you would have said. It's the beautiful, sweet Jollofrize that I give other people, that people, people I would give my food and they will be praying for me.
Speaker 1:I kept a lot of Jollofrize for me. I kept a lot of Jollofrize for me. I'm thinking that, ah, she will go to work, she will need this rice and meat anyway. She now even when I don't even think I really kept meat, for I just kept plenty Jollofrize she now took. She now, she now to she now I'm joking, please don't tell them that I'm joking. I don't eat meat, but I think they were at home anyway. Anyway, she now Brought out the rice from the things I packed for her and said that this is your rice. I don't eat jello fries, I don't want. You said you don't eat rice. Why would I say I don't eat? You should have put it. But this time I've already gone back to sit down on my bed. I was looking for you to finish packing your things, like joke actually. So this busai will actually open my door and leave Before we start. And then should I? Thanks for coming.
Speaker 1:The nonsense that Kya is coming from her mouth, it just keeps coming. I was like she's actually going. I was like, am I supposed to be begging you now? We have busai, don't go. We have busai, come back. What was I supposed to tell you? You didn't show like you're really cared. I was like you knew what you were doing. I even felt like you were doing this out begging and saying I'm not going to beg a girl that she should stay back. I actually had a headache and I was super, I don't know.
Speaker 1:For some time I've been dealing with sleep and stress and I actually sleep early, like 9.30pm. Yes, I know, you sleep early. I know. Okay, I'm not going to that not happen. I said thanks for coming. I didn't go to the house. What nonsense hold, I would have slapped you. I said thanks for coming and I can't do that. I'm not going to say thanks for coming and then close it. Though I didn't go to the house. I didn't go to the house. I said this guy actually left. So I called your roommates. That person is coming home. Please let me know when she gets home safe, because I know if I have to take her home, because my phone would have gotten missing. My number no longer exists. No, I know you would never have picked it because you're always on DMZ. Anyway, the point is that you now got home.
Speaker 1:Then the next day, what happened? This was the biggest fight in our history After the laptop fight, but this was the biggest fight. What did I text you? Yes, because that's my toxic traits. I wanted to text you. I wanted to text you. Why did you text me? Because I felt like Tolu, this fight might be serious. I was going to say something. I was serious. I knew it was serious. I don't want to use my phone like this. I don't spend money on it. That's why I didn't think you were serious, that you were going to go home. I considered it like 20 times but I'm like no, if this happens to 90s people, I don't want to talk about it tomorrow.
Speaker 1:If this noise was really broken, why couldn't she just tell me? I felt like I was defending my actions. So that's when I was not feeling almost like Maybe I should have turned off the TV. I was also feeling like I was in my own house, but that's what you said. So the next day, when I texted you, what did I ask you? Tolu said something About working on eggshells. Yes, how I worked on eggshells. I was like, if this is it, then I'm going to say what I have to say. And then I said Did I apologize? What did I actually say? What apology? I think I said hi, I wanted to discuss.
Speaker 1:Then she said she's no longer comfortable or she won't be comfortable, something about not comfortable around me. And I said but I'm also not interested In having a selfish and inconsiderate friend. You said something like that and that you don't make certain mistakes twice. And I asked you, wait? And I asked you you didn't make a mistake of coming to my house, of being my friend. I was like let's just let her pull, let's just let her break, let's know that it has finished In this show.
Speaker 1:You told me we're doing very petty With our responses, saying some funny things. I'm like well, more not to people who have said Something about our friendship. Tell them to reconsider, because I feel you take and like, and I was saying things about that. I felt that she also you take advantage of me and I think so. That was where I now finally spoke to myself, because when you not talked about, you're not explaining to me, you've asked me, I've told you, that's the same to you. You've asked me, I've told you. But there's something I told you, sha.
Speaker 1:What that incident Thought me was that I learned something about myself. I didn't think that I was selfish or I could be inconsiderate, and I remember that I actually got that feedback In my last relationship. I remember that Sometimes I was like, hmm, two people can say, and it's just be a joke. And so I listened to your niplogist and I told you I was sorry that I could see how it spread that hate and then place the idea that you already knew I was going to look for you. But that hate, and then you didn't know. And actually I told you that I'm just for being selfish, but that you too you don't communicate properly, that you actually don't communicate.
Speaker 1:And then you told me it's true that you don't communicate, because in my mind I was like If she was really going, we should have asked her for the key. I'm meeting my own pride. I feel like you know what you're doing. I'm not saying anything. I'm like I think you always have a different idea Compared to what I'm doing. I'm not even thinking this way. I'm not even thinking about ex. I'm thinking something negative. So I'm thinking of the worst case scenario. My mind didn't even go here. Why should I be petty and not take the key? I didn't remember.
Speaker 1:I think on my way home I remember that I didn't take the key, but I knew that you had public restrooms In your building, so I said I would use it, and I used them before they are clean and I would just rest on the couch. So that was it from Bottle Law. And I mean too, I would show you that that you're pride, because I was like, since you two are so proud, you're going to stay there. I know I should stop on this. I overthink so much that I only think of the worst of people On the couch. I was still talking to Anif, so when she came back she was carrying face and I said, okay, now, I was carrying face because you two were carrying face. Which one is that one? I just listened to that Jellophryce. Paint me Because of you, because of people like you, that someone that knows how to do good.
Speaker 1:Again, I say in my life I would never cook for any freaking home-frogging. Did you actually cook it for yourself? Of course I cooked it for myself. If I'm cooking, I'm cooking for myself. But you also know I love Jellophryce. But for the fact that I actually kept even that much amount, I said that I knew that I wanted to take food to walk. How much did you keep from doing it? I said that much. I kept 10 packs. That pack I kept. It was not 3 to 4 servings, it was a full pack. It was full Buseyo.
Speaker 1:After that one, I once gave food to Funti. I gave food to the girls, I gave food to my church. Don't even allow me to eat. You were the second Sorry, they were not the second to eat. I kept it for everybody equally. I kept it for everybody. But the fact that I taught about you, anyway, it's okay. I said you can know that Jellophryce is a bribe. After acting this way, you should not give me Jellophryce. I should say thank you and be eating it. No, I'm not eating any Jellophryce, I would rather drink.
Speaker 1:Gary, it was such a big fight. I remember even my own heart was beating. She actually left Because I really thought that this is the end of this friendship. I do even care. I said I'm not doing the game and then I spoke to somebody and I said I'm sorry. I said you mad, I said everything. I said I was angry that I'm always the bigger person. I knew that it was me that would come back, who told you that you wanted to do something. If you want to start saying I'm doing that with something, I'm ready to accept that.
Speaker 1:How many times have you apologized to me. How many times have you apologized to me? It's okay, please, we only have one hour for this episode. We can use that all the time to talk. How many times have you apologized to me? How many times have we had issues that I need to apologize for? Not a lot, exactly, but that's why this one came clean and I apologized, and I'm happy that you actually told me what you said, because I did realize how selfish and inconsiderate that might have been.
Speaker 1:Even with the TV. I shouldn't have been asking you Do you want to sleep? I knew you were going to sleep. You didn't even ask me if I wanted to sleep. I knew you wanted to sleep. I was there watching Griselda, a new drug movie that came about, someone that used to fight Pablo. I still finished it after you left Because I could not see, and the only one was. You used to speak and play music and I was like are you disturbing your room? No, both of us used to play music and I was too loud to text you. I can't even read with noise, so anyway.
Speaker 1:So what else did this fight teach you About our friendship and yourself? The friendship cannot be broken. It has been bonded by the blood of Jesus. Are you joking? I mean, it was a very Tough time and I think I remember it well, I can't. Even.
Speaker 1:Lots of emotions went into this. I told my sister, I told my two sisters that I was the big fan. I'm sorry, but I learned that Sometimes I probably need to be more. I probably need to be more. I need to think things through, think the whole process through. I didn't think about the key. I didn't think about getting the key or what else could I. Anyway, the point is that I need to communicate more, even if I'm upset. Sometimes I don't want to say it Because I don't want to keep going back and forth and be dragging all your friends. I'm very non-confrontational, but I'm working on that. If you're upset, I'll let you know. I've never gotten there. I'm still working on it. I'm still teaching.
Speaker 1:Why are you thinking? I think it taught me that I might not necessarily. I think I do a lot of nice things With people around me, but I might not be internalizing it. How do I put it? It might not all be unconditional. I'm not explaining it, but I think that if I do this for you, or if I give you something, I don't bother to sit down and think about the foundation.
Speaker 1:I told you that you did something to me Before. That. It's quite trivial, but I held it in my hand Because of that. In my mind I was also Punishing you. You were saying that it's only what I want. You told me that it's only what I want to do, or you want to go to New York, or then I come to New York Because I was feeling like, of course, because there was a time I did something for you, but I was not aware of that. I just never let go of that previous thing and it's not as important.
Speaker 1:Unforgiving spirits Me. I know that I struggle with Unforgiveness and revenge, but that's the point. And for almost 2 to 3 years I held it against. You See, we think we're the best friends and I'm like okay, even me, I didn't know that I was really holding it. I want to shout out to you I can't think what did I do? You did something. I can't think.
Speaker 1:I said the last snatched a man. Which man? No, you have a beauty question. No, of course I didn't snatched a man, but I looked at him. I thought I was the same as his friends. That's nice.
Speaker 1:Before I was form up. I was not sensitive, but I just keep it. You guys don't want to know what she said. I did, I'm not sensitive, but I'm like, okay, is this it? If you don't mind saying it, you did this, but anyway, yes, and I just kept it because I felt like that was a time of my own. Anyway, let's not talk too much. But it also taught me that I'm happy that you actually said what she said.
Speaker 1:Shout out to XL what happened. He was a good sounding body. He helped me see your own perspective, Because I was just like no, she should have told me she didn't even kiss you, he was just being devil's advocate. But maybe he was on your side or maybe he was just being a true focus. Anyway, I spoke to him too. But the whole point is that it taught me that If there's any underlying feelings I have, I should actually address it. I know how to use it. I can cover anything that hurts me. I might still be doing good for you, but I know that you've done something to me, but I will refuse to admit it. I will not tell that person Before me. I would communicate, I would refuse to address. This taught me that I'm actually happy you left Because now I knew you were serious. I was like, okay, now she's serious. Oh fine, I feel like her. Tulu Reflected me that I was so shocked that she actually I was so sure you would not pay for that Uber to go. I said she actually took that Uber.
Speaker 1:At first I didn't want to talk to you much. I said I'm not asking, someone will thunder the money. Who is the best singer? I'm not even sure. The first thing to ask to reform me, I got double money. Pussy. Who is this person? Keep moving on. That's what you told me.
Speaker 1:3 people have told you that our friendship is one sided. I knew that your mom has been amongst us. I said, let me know. I told them that you should tell those people to go and think again. I wanted to really give them Abuse of my life. I was like them to them know my own perspective. But then I actually agree with what they are saying. And you guys that's why today I'm live in New Jersey. I was like you know what? I'm going to come and make excuses. Oh yeah, so Tulu would say so. Tulu's excuse was not coming to visit, she lived very far away from me. I said my dear, I did not live 5 minutes away from me, yeah, but I still told you that you it's not even when you come into the city we try to plan our meetups. But it's true, but I understand I have not been in the past. Yeah, I know, in the past you have See this one. I knew that. I admitted that I was wrong and I'm happy that we were able to resolve this. I'm happy that I let go of my pride. I don't know if you fully let go of your own, but this one you have changed my name to Tulu. No, it's not pride involved, okay, but, shah, I think we are when now, when we are, I would say this is a new chapter Of our friendship. Yeah, I asked where, because now we are relearning and I actually spoke to myself Even coming here. You see, that's why, when you be asking me, why am I so ginger To come today, I'm happy that I'm finally doing it too.
Speaker 1:You know, I don't really. I go out. My work out is not too much. When I go out, I do everything at once, but to just say I'm going to go and see somebody and this is far. I don't need to work out like that. So I'm happy that I didn't cancel. I'm happy that I couldn't even cancel what I've done. I'm happy that I'm here today.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much for taking care of me and buying me Jalof rice From you guys. You know Producing for you. Come in, allow me, you guys. I'm currently sipping on my carrot and cantaloupe juice Cantaloupe, cantaloupe, popo. He looks like Popo, but they call him cantaloupe.
Speaker 1:Shah Photos in Nigeria. Yeah, she juice, and I have Three bottles bag ready to take home. So thank you so much. I appreciate it. Clean the whole house for me, you know, so that I won't come and talk to you too much Because you look like why is there dust here?
Speaker 1:I'm like, why are you here? I know we struggle with that when we're roommates. Remember the time I tell you please remove your shoes from here. I'll come and be arranging your shoes for you and no one else said for too much. I miss, if I know no one else was too much, so that we're forming marriage. I didn't even know if I'm ready, if I'm not missing my space, go help me, but anyway, anyway.
Speaker 1:And now, you guys, we're back to being friends. I believe we're getting there, but I'm actually happy that. I'm happy that happened and we're able to clear the air. I feel free, I feel like I'm actually, and I think I want this to happen to me and my other friends, because I feel like there's a lot like my other friends might not be telling me. I'm just thinking I'm doing good for them, so they must love me, not knowing that there might be some other things that they don't like about me, because I love them about the things they're doing.
Speaker 1:I, I appreciate the gifts and all those other things, but things that are not tangible, those are like the things that really mean more to me. I guess, so, I guess so, and to me. Sometimes I see it that way around, which can be a problem. It can be a big problem, but I thank God for this growth. You know it's a serious growth, okay, and now, after all this bad energy, what would you say is your fondest memory of both of us or of me in our friendships? We'll find past 10 years. I should just pick one. Yeah, anyone that makes you feel fuzzy. Oh, this was still.
Speaker 1:I think this was 2013 or 2014 when I, when I filled this 117 and I don't know if you said, oh, you went to pray for me in the chapel, or it was sometime about prayer and how you seemed really concerned about mine. Oh yeah, I remember that. What's the name of that, mr Kilanco? That, by the way, for holding on to his. It was a technical drawing course. Yeah, jesus, what was that? You know what you've, june, I don't remember. Yeah, and you prayed for me and I love that. Oh my God, you know what I think. I cry though. Oh my God, I'm like, wow, somebody likes me this much. I could see myself doing that. Oh Me, I wrote down Shadamai, one of my fundesmen. Oh, you wrote that and you put me on the spot and they think him. Yeah, me, I still thought about it. I actually have a couple.
Speaker 1:I don't know if you remember when I studied for organic chemistry in 200 level one time and I feel like you knew it so well, you just liked it. You knew how to study for it. Do you remember? I liked chemistry? Yes, you did, and I just used to watch you. I just remember sitting down in that Star Hall, shad, so I'm figuring it out and then trying to learn from you and seeing that, oh, pussy is actually smart. She's not the clown like she likes to behave. I remember that time. I also remember when I you know, cornyal, I was on Zoom for a long time.
Speaker 1:Then, when I was supposed to resume in person, I came to New York City. I was in New York City in my uncle's house and then you came to see me and then you took me to Bolinthine. I went shopping in Bolinthine and all the clothes you had picked before I came because I always come late All of them were nice clothes, you know, and when I went to resume school, I would send you pictures and I would look at what I wore. I mean, yeah, so that was. I remember that. I was like, well, you actually took the time, went around Bolinthine because I always tell you that you find good deals and then you got those clothes for me. So that was nice.
Speaker 1:And then, coming to eat a cup of my bed in 2022. Oh yeah, that was a nice. And you know, that's when you told me that you've done a lot, too, for me and it looks like I hadn't done, and I actually thought back and I realized that that's true. Besides, I was actually sacrificing all the times you come, you know, and all that. That's why I think the few things I may have done for you in this hour later, part of adult to me when I helped you move from Queens, and then you know. But I felt I thought like, wow, I think you have done a lot more acts of service things for me and I think that is it for me, like I'm actually showing up for for people in that way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, giving my time Exactly that's giving your time, you know, and I don't really know how to give my time like that. I want people to do more. I mean I try, but my own is in, like the brunch things and all that, but it's not quality time, I guess you know. So I'm happy that I was able to come here today and you guys will go out tomorrow again. Thank you, busy is taking me to brunch. Yeah, acts and service I'm at church, you know. So I'm going to experience our church today too.
Speaker 1:Hopefully nothing happens again this night. I mean, anybody will be used to it. I know I told you I need to open the window. It doesn't take big for that. Yes, I need enough oxygen. I'm like, okay, you didn't disturb me that much, I didn't disturb you, I was just saying, but you know, I'm also not feeling too. Fine, I understood. I understood no one is going home tonight, yes, so nobody is taking me back tonight to Abego, okay.
Speaker 1:So, as you round up, I actually had a lot more things to ask you about, like your health and fitness and all those things. How much time do you have? She has a philosophy that you know. It's okay if it's long, people that will listen will listen. It's okay. But let's, since we're still going, you have a philosophy that will work, but wait first of all. Like, people that will listen will listen. So I should talk as long as I want, you know, but I also need to be respectful of people's time. But anyway, wait first of all.
Speaker 1:What advice do you give to people who have had long term friendships and deciding if they want to continue with a friend or not? It's like in the moment when you're thinking of less end this friendship, what were the things that made you maybe reconsider? I mean you, I think you'll think about what, the values that you both share and like, what made you both to be friends initially. If I don't think you have to do pros and cons I didn't do that, but you, I mean you could picture your life without the person and see if much would change or if, like, the person has been really instrumental in your life. I just felt we had shared a lot together, we had a lot of memories.
Speaker 1:I didn't want to let's go above that. I'm like, wow, so I will actually lose my? I have just like three close friends and I don't. I don't have so many friends. I'm like, okay, so I'm just going to. This friendship that I've been standing the test of time will just cut a fine early. But, yeah, I mean, god will always help people resolve their friendship. That's on front of that I do not care so much about, because I'm like, well, please get out. But Tola didn't care for me. She has been supportive also. So I'm like, okay, this girl actually shows that she cares for me, or even if maybe she does some things that show that she about that, yeah, but she has been there for me. She has shown up for me a couple of times when other people did not, so that that's that was there. Yeah, I think I would say the same like if, if, if the friendship means anything, like you should give it a fighting chance.
Speaker 1:I think in those moments too, every time I talk about it I'm not going to text her. This is the end. I don't think I had the balls to do it like, especially because, like, see, the next day I was ready, like my mood was so bad that day just thinking about the fact that I have a friendship hanging on at a cliff, you know, and then I also felt like you see the way you think I was there for you. I feel like you all know these few friends I have. That understands me. Remember when I used to have all these issues with my roommates? When we see you because I did not have to live with like scattered people and you come and tell them that. Remember, did that? My roommate in 2011 moved out Because I was just talking to Tola.
Speaker 1:I used to believe in her that, okay, tola will actually just change. Yeah, like I don't think I saw her accommodate. I don't know if she's accommodate or welcome. I don't know if she's welcome, maybe she's not accommodate. I know, I don't know the different things, but by then, I also didn't have enough emotional intelligence. I used to see three people like I was living with my sisters, like pick up your stuff. I know I was calling the way you know. Yes, like I would be like can't you pick up yourself, pick up after yourself. Like why is this plate not washed? You know I'll not pick it and go and put it somewhere. Or maybe I see someone she changed her in the room. I'll not pick it. I think she said she could not take it again because I was arranging her stuff, because I also felt like it was affecting the ambience of the room, like I could not take it anymore, even me telling her to move down. That's what I knew was. But I think that's what I remember.
Speaker 1:Again, when you left, I said, god, I'm really bad. I'm sorry people, I'm gonna keep moving out. Like what's the problem? I'm sure I literally broke down. Oh, my god, I can't believe I'm outing myself like this. But I remember that Busi actually spoke to me. That I remember when he came and told me that Tulu, can't you see, see, people are leaving you, can't you calm down? That day you actually spoke to me and I remember that Busi understood me.
Speaker 1:You know, like you also understood my point, without really judging me, that maybe it's because you had also been rumored to meet me the year before and you knew that this marriage and you just put me in trouble again. So you just knew how to talk to me and I felt I won't tell you. Now you still understand like you can see me for who I am and know that that's how Tulu is, you know and you don't judge me. Even so, I was like, hmm, I should give this a fighting chance and I'm happy that I not let my pride. So I'll tell you. My advice is like communicate no matter what it costs, and even though part of me was ready to let go, but I'm happy that, even though, yes, I have, I have other girlfriends that are really that close to me, that are dear to me, but I still cherished our friendship. So I'm happy that we're back together. Guys, we're back, we're back. We broke up for like 24 hours. It was a bad breakup. Oh, my god, we're back and I thank god. Man, it was, it was bad, but I'm happy. I'm so happy and I'm grateful to God. So, anyway, to wrap up the episode, let's do like. Let me just talk to you random how far your 2024 goals going. I know that you plan to read books this year. I plan to read books. I'll be there to dream every minute, even this money.
Speaker 1:When you woke up at six. I said, go, she like James Buseiro. I said, when he's not today morning, what a holy night of fair. Now we're going to do gym. I knew this guy was not going to be in gym today. So last night I told her oh, I'm going at seven or seven thirty. So he said, no, I'm not interested. I'm like, yeah, I'm not interested.
Speaker 1:You have to, like, make this commitment or this sacrifice. It will never be easy. You actually have to dedicate time to it. I mean, I could think about sleeping, but I'm like, okay, I need to look good, fit into that clothes For me, I don't. I see myself. I feel good. I feel really good when you look good, when I lose weight and I'm just feeling healthy. Today we're laughing at Buseiro's old pictures. You guys, I was like, please, man, that woman never resorted because whoever she looks like and it's funny that I'm laughing at her because that's what I look like now when she tells me that picture you were turned on about six pounds. I'm now two fifteen. I didn't even I want to cry because I'm like, for me, I may, I might accept myself as a kind of person, but at the same time I also know that I may be, because I know that I used to. I was slim before, so if I'm serious, I can be slim again. Do you get? I just have that back on my mind.
Speaker 1:I need to want to motivate me for my last weight loss gen, because I really struggled to lose weight this last time. For over a year I kept going up and down but I kept thinking, okay, I was once 150 pounds, so I could get there again. So I started from 192 in September. I started from 192 in September. Now I'm 165 or I'm about 163. So I lost about 29 pounds. But I kept thinking that if I could do it before, I can do it again. Yeah, that helps me, but yeah, so I've set a lot of goals this year. I'm glad that I crossed over into the New Year with my cousin. He really motivates me.
Speaker 1:My cousin shout out to you and he was like you should set your goals for this year. What do you want to do? I'm like, oh, not today please. And he said, okay, set spiritual goals, financial goals, personal development, all of those. So I set to go to read two books this year, because I read just one last year. I struggled with reading. It started out well, but I've been spending the last hours of my life or last weeks of my life talking to a man, so I've not been reading that much, but I was there.
Speaker 1:I feel like you have a lot to tell the people, to teach us. I have a lot. You do have a lot to share. Yeah, I mean for career, I plan to take a certification. I prayed for that already. It's just to start reading and I think I have the book.
Speaker 1:So, a certification for personnel? Yeah, I want to travel to some countries. You guys, busy is in her bag this year and I'm so proud of you because I'm five to beg Busy to spend her money. But this year she's like to know I'm spending it. You can't tell me nothing. How many besides? Do you have your passport? Now? Tell the people Busy is outside. I love it, I love this. Where can they find you? Let them they can find me. You can't find me Swithing. You can't see that Really. What's your Instagram handle? Um, at the fallage1o underscore Score. Yeah, that's true, something like that, something at the fallage1o. My account is private anyway, so you might not find me, but yeah, so I plan to travel to some countries.
Speaker 1:I plan to learn how to drive? Yeah, me too. Please tell me where you're about to do it. Yeah, I mean I've been saying, I've been saying, do the written test first and then we can move from there. But that's what this year I plan to. So at the beginning of the year I need to lose 10 pounds. I've lost that and that's out of the year. I mean now I need to maintain my weight and I'm still consciously working towards that so that I don't lose guide and go back to where I'm coming from.
Speaker 1:Spiritually. I plan to Well, changing my church wasn't because when I wrote my goal of praying and studying, my cousin like okay, that is not a goal, like in terms of smarts and definition. So I'm like, okay, well, changing my church, which I've done by specific, that counts Because that has a time limit, measurable, what's A Achieveable R-result, reliable, realistic and time bound. I think for him you're going to be time bound, like reading your bible everyday or whatever is not really good. So I'm like, okay, yeah, but that is still it. I think I plan to bring Ghani to coach the rest of us.
Speaker 1:I plan to read a Christian book this year. I'm reading a Christian book to him before you deal. It traumatises me a lot. I plan to read a Christian book this year. You're reading what Highly 7 habits of Habits of highly effective people. Drop one line for the people. No, we'll not do that to me, I'm not going to get into it. Wait one line from my book. I think the most recent line that hits me was how you have to. I mean it sounds very mundane, but like I think we literally let go of the old to Wellcome the new, something like that Past, hodts and all that. Of course it sounds very dumb, but it's something that hits me. I also plan to learn how to swim this year. Okay, why Are you teaching me white man? No, no, it's just life. So I have such an ignorant question. But I know Survival skill or whatever they say, actually it's a value survival skill. I plan to learn how to swim. I think that's all.
Speaker 1:And then for finances, I have a specific amount I plan to save every month. That's why I'm not being watched. My sister inflation. I've just had a lot of views. How is it?
Speaker 1:Because you know I spend a lot on fruit. I buy fruit a lot, I'm spending a lot, I'm spending my fruit, and so I'm seeing things. I'm sharing your juices with me. I'm spending my fruit and so I'm seeing things. I go to grocery twice, do you know?
Speaker 1:I also discovered that whole food is cheap. It's not as expensive as we say. I'm telling you. Whole food, yeah, I know, I already know that Cheddar Jaws is cheap and I like the food there. Then I was comparing it to food by that one year and I was like what I actually bought more from home.
Speaker 1:I got some salmon Sorry, they say it's with the early silence, salmon. I don't know when Americans are calling salmon salmon, put ALS. You know, when I eat avocado, I make more avocado toast. Oh, my goodness, you were saying money goes. That's been hard for me. I know which way is safe as much which way. I mean I think I just had a lot to do with money. I'm trying to get settled.
Speaker 1:But yeah, the prayer is that God keeps us in good health and we have nothing to stress us out so we can focus on achieving those goals. That's always the prayer for me. I'm like God. I beg All these goals that someone is man proposing God, and I haven't said this yet. I plan to have a relationship this year Before I forget. This year At least meet someone that is really serious about me. Yeah, I like that he says serious about you. Do you want to tell people your most latest realization? No, but you guys.
Speaker 1:Besire has been expressing growth For 28. She has been letting go of the old I mean letting go of baggage. Yes, align yourself to be more worthy, because they say it on Instagram you are worthy, you are enough. I'm enough. If they don't like you, I'm actually enough. You are Because in the way that you were crying, anyone should be, even with the way your life is in order, anyone, you are the favorite, they say. When the Bible says a wife, anyone, with the favor from the Lord, you are the favor. Sis, it meant to die. I had to let go of someone. I was quite a fan of him, but he wasn't forthcoming. Exactly, I'm not going to sit down and wait for you to. I keep silent. So you are amazed.
Speaker 1:The things Besire does for love Actually believe in loving wholeheartedly. That's why, even with Adi on love is blind, I support Living everything on the dance floor when it comes to relationship, apart from Not everything Like within the boundaries of your faith, of values, and doing it the best. When you look back, if it didn't work. It wasn't because I didn't give my all. So I understand what that could feel like and I want to go back to that place again. That's why I'm not talking to other people. I'm just like, after the first take, if you're not out, I want to be able to open up more, allow myself to experience love. That's why I met that last person. I was opening the feeding mess.
Speaker 1:I said what is all this gnarly wood distance? I'm not interested anymore and these are things I'll see on TV and I'll be shouting God's word, I'll be sharing me. But now they have brought it to my way, I'm like why? This is a good thing. I mean, I get it, but anyway, I would like to meet someone too, but I removed it. There's not too much pressure For me. There's a pressure. I'm focused on the other goals, the ones that I can work, I can control exactly. I think in the last episode I shared Goals I had for myself For 2024 and how much I've achieved the one I'm very proud of. I've been able to go up for promotion. There's no guarantee I'm going to get it, but I'm happy that I've been able to Put in at work, learn an important project at work.
Speaker 1:That took a while and, most importantly, my YouTube. I had been saying it for a long time, I've been playing with the idea for a long time and, guys, I'm finally starting my YouTube. So, guys, every Sunday now I'm posting a short. So please, please, bucsy, tell them where can they find me On the YouTube? I'm not in the grants today. Like, watch, share, subscribe. Most importantly, subscribe. Even if you guys cannot watch everything, please put it on your TV and be watching. Comment, anything you like. Comment, please, let me know that you are watching, and I always appreciate when people do, definitely. And then also for this podcast, if you enjoyed it, please rate the podcast. I learned that last year when we did Spotify, did my rap. I think I was 4.6, so I'm trying to get it back as high as 4.8.
Speaker 1:Leave a comment. You can be anonymous. Please leave a written. I always check these things. I read all these stats, so please make my day. My birthday is coming up. If I can use that to bribe you guys, send me a gift. Yes, thank you. Listen to it, rate and leave a comment. And if you actually like the content, this episode, or have any more questions for us, I now have a podcast feedback form In the link. It should be somewhere in the description Of this episode or in my bio on Instagram. Please feel the form. It's anonymous form. Please let us know what you think. If you also have questions about friendship, please send us on our way.
Speaker 1:I'll bring Buseyobat as site and, busey, just in case this is the last time I have a podcast episode. If I don't get my hate from BDCA and I leave to another country, I'll visit you. Who would I be hanging out with? I mean, I have, but they're not in New York with you. They don't do brunches like I do. They don't take your pictures like I do. I mean, if I visit, it should just be like a short while. I'll see my gosh, busey, you get it. I mean, if you don't get it, you come back, I'll be here waiting for you. Thank you so much, you guys. That's why I feel like I'm just preparing for the worst. But anyway, thank you, busey. Thank you for the sweet messages. I always come back and listen to this about how much you miss me.
Speaker 1:Okay, guys, I think we have come to the end of this episode. Oh my god, busey, did you have fun recording this? I did I did. It feels good to let it out. I hope you guys enjoyed as much as we did recording Exactly oh my god, that's my line. Thanks, guys, I hope you enjoyed as much as we enjoyed listening, as much as we enjoyed recording it. Thank you, guys, so much for listening.
Speaker 1:Don't forget to give your friendship a fighting chance, guys, and if you're like a single woman, you're waiting, or single men too, for those of you who are interested in marriage, like us, I'll be praying for you, we'll be praying for you. All of us will see you at the wedding altar. Thank you, I was not talking about love is blind, but when Eddie was saying I'm never enough, that thing really hit me, even when I started shedding tears Because I was like that's the average girls. That's how most of us think sometimes when we get left or dumped by men or anything. Yes, girls, to the sisters listening, you're more than enough. Okay, you guys, we are worth it. We are unexpensing growth In this In this new year. Oh, my god. Okay, guys, that's the end of this episode. Love you guys. Love you guys. See you some other time. See you guys. Bye, bye. Hope it's loud enough.
Speaker 1:I forgot that Boussy has to wrap force today. Give me a special rendition. Yeah, boussy has given. That's going to be the outro of this episode. Boussy has to do a special rendition. So if you guys follow us on Instagram or follow me on Instagram, I posted it today that I've discovered that Boussy knows the cheapest lyrics on the Ego song On, which is a popular song that was released After Mubad Pass, and I've talked about this In previous episodes.
Speaker 1:It took the whole nation by surprise and Boussy, who is a Euroba girl From the western part of Nigeria, I can actually wrap the lyrics of the Igbo language from the eastern part of Nigeria. So, boussy, please can you give us a rap? What's the beat of this song? Wait, wait, pressure, I'm trying to kill you in. Yeah, what's the tune? Boussy's song? Oh, that's it. Thank you guys. That's the end of my video. I can't believe she got the Igbo part. It took some time. She asked me how she was doing it At one of the boss. I was learning it. I was learning it. It took like 20 tries, but yeah, that was so hilarious. Sorry, guys, when I did it, my friend got it and I was so excited. There's nothing as beautiful as being happy with working hard for something. I've seen the result. I will look, come back. That's why we came back. Okay, bye guys.